An open mind about being gay doesn't mean a blank slate

"Maybe I'm just lucky that I have a friend that is understanding enough to know where I'm coming from," Hatlevig, 31, said. "My belief is just as much a part of me that I would say his sexuality is a part of him .... I view it as something that we disagree on, not that I'm shunning him, because if he's just doing the same thing to me then it's a mutual shunning."

Hatlevig was also worried about how Christians would respond to Haggard.

In case you didn't hear, last week Haggard found himself alive in one of those old Bible stories. That is, a homosexual prostitute, who some might call the least among us, revealed that Haggard, then the president of the National Association of Evangelicals, was not preaching what he was practicing.

In a letter to his church in Colorado, Haggard wrote this: "There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life."

And this: "...from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach."

And this: "The public person I was wasn't a lie; it was just incomplete."

The final statement, and possibly the other two, could be said by anyone.

Haggard, a married man who spoke strongly in favor of amendments like the one passed in Wisconsin, now finds himself on both sides of this great debate on homosexuality, which brings me to my second point.

It is not good to condemn people.

I've heard many people say "love the sinner, hate the sin" when speaking about homosexuality, but I do not believe that is possible on this issue. If you say that, you cannot hear what someone who says "I am homosexual" is saying.

I've seen others laugh and speak with venom toward those who supported the marriage amendment. I think they also have trouble hearing the struggle.

Hatlevig is different. She has the ability to hold tension inside of her.

She disagrees with homosexuality. She has a close friend who is a homosexual, born again Christian. From this context, she asks meaningful questions, like how Haggard might emerge from his story.

"However he ends up, there's a lot of Christians like my friend that are struggling with the issue of, 'I'm homosexual, but I'm born again. How does that work?' "

One final point: My homeless friend knocked on a church door last Sunday and nobody answered. While this down-and-out individual was looking for a warm place to rest, a lot of us were worrying about the amendment referendum.

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